sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
