how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
