Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
