I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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