I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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