Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
