I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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