she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
