do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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