I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.