I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Hippo gnu deer
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
