Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
