Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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