I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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