It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
