She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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