what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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