Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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