i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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