THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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