Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
