i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
