He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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