i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
