I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
