They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
