Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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