You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
