i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
