Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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