Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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