I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
