Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
