I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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