Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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