Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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