I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
