You work out of a Hotel?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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