Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
