party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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