I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
vagina is talking i cant
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
