she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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