We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize