Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
