I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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