i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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