Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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