Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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