I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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