You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
