He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
