We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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