I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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