last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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