Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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