I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!