FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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