That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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