To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
