doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
