i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
