My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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