wat bout pragnant strippers??
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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